Making room for baby!

Yesterday we devoted most of the day to getting Stella's room cleaned out. Morgan and I have a lot of stuff between us, but were very willing to get rid of things yesterday. I have found that over the years I get less and less sentimental about my belongings. I have moved multiple times and each time I have gotten rid of so much crap. I want Stella's room to be hers, where I can go to feed her and read to her and have places to store HER belongings. My mom and dad are coming on March 20th to paint Stella's room and get it all set up. I can't wait. Morgan and I thought that Stella's clothes hanging in the closet was the cutest thing we had ever seen!

Happy Valentine's Day

We went to lunch at Third Street Promenade and then laid on the beach in Malibu and watched the sunset. We had a very nice day.

Bummed

I had a check-up yesterday and my doctor told me that because my fibroids are so big that I will have to have a c-section and the chances of me giving birth naturally is slim. I cried. I also found out that the fibroid on the back of my uterus has grown and is now 12cm. So basically I have a baby, an expanding uterus and 2 rocks that are fighting against my expanding uterus inside of me and most of the time it doesn't feel so good.

We went over the results of the ultra sound and Stella looks great; Morgan asked if she had all of her limbs and I thought it was cute :) I also found out that I have Placenta Previa which means that my placenta is low in my uterus and that can cause bleeding. My doctor is confident that will fix itself and I hope it does.

The thought of having a c-section against my will consumed my mind yesterday. I had this idea of what I wanted. I wanted my mom to be in the room. I wanted the experience of going through labor and having Stella come out naturally. I dreamed of them pulling her out, yelling "it's a girl"' and having her put onto my chest. I wanted to be the first to hold her.

Instead, I will be covered with a sheet up to my neck. I will be drugged up and extremely nervous with anticipation of what to expect. She will be pulled out of my stomach, and instead of me holding her the nurse will hold her, shove her in my face for one second and then I will have to wait until I get into recovery to hold her. I am happy that Morgan will get to hold her though.

I know a lot of woman plan c-sections because they have appointments to get to and it's more convenient, but I was ready for the challenge of natural delivery. I don't want to pick the day Stella will be born, I wanted to leave that up to her.

I am slowly wrapping my brain around the idea. I know a lot of woman get them, I know it's safe, but it's not what I wanted. I will get over it...in a few days.